By seventeen, I had begun imagining a future with Ben.
I never said it aloud.
They were only quiet fantasies while I finished homework or brushed my hair before bed: Ben, Rosie, and me, our lives forever connected.
I believed he imagined it too.
Because of the way he lingered on our porch.
Because he laughed at Rosie’s jokes that usually only I understood.
Then one Sunday, when I was twenty-two, Ben knocked on our door.
A small velvet box rested in his palm.
My heart rose so quickly I nearly felt dizzy.
“Can I talk to Rosie?” he asked me.
I stared at him. “Rosie?”
Without answering, I stepped aside.
From the kitchen window, I watched him kneel in front of my sister between the tomato plants.
I saw her hands fly to her mouth.
I watched her nod so hard that her curls bounced.
That night, I cried into my pillow so no one would hear.
Terrible thoughts raced through my mind, thoughts that made me ashamed of myself.
Ben could not possibly find her more attractive than me.
He had to have another reason for marrying her.
Looking back, it hurts to know how close I came to the truth.
The following morning, I smiled and helped Rosie create a wedding inspiration board on Pinterest.
“You’ll be my maid of honor,” she told me. “Promise me.”
Part of me kept expecting our parents to interfere.
Instead, they smiled and said Ben would take good care of Rosie.
The wedding was small.
Ben wore a gray suit and cried when Rosie walked down the aisle.
My parents continued smiling.
“You chose well,” Dad said to Ben, patting his shoulder.
The comment hurt.
I watched Ben slide the ring onto Rosie’s finger.
And I wondered whether I had ever truly known my best friend.
Three years passed.
Eventually, I moved beyond my hurt feelings and met a wonderful man.
Rosie and Ben moved into a small yellow house near the edge of town.
Every morning at nine, Rosie called to tell me what she was wearing.
Then came the call I had always prayed for.
“I’m going to be a mom,” Rosie whispered. “We’re having twins.”
I dropped onto the floor of my apartment, crying and laughing together.
All her life, people had claimed Rosie would never have a normal future.
Now she was going to become a mother.
I should have known happiness that enormous would not arrive alone.
The pregnancy became difficult.
At thirty-four weeks, Rosie was rushed to the hospital.
The doctors gave us a grim prognosis.
The waiting room clock moved past midnight.
I stared at the double doors through which they had taken Rosie, willing them to open with good news.
Ben sat beside me, one knee bouncing uncontrollably.
“She’s going to be okay,” I whispered, more for myself than for him. “Rosie is strong.”
Ben pressed both palms over his eyes.
A sound escaped him, somewhere between a prayer and a sob.
Then a doctor came through the double doors.
Ben jumped to his feet.
The doctor’s expression told me everything before he spoke.
“She’s lost a lot of blood. We’ve stabilized the babies, but Rosie is crashing. We’re doing everything we can, but you need to prepare yourselves.”
He vanished behind the doors again.
Ben stood motionless, swaying slightly.
I placed a hand against his back.
My best friend.
My brother.
“Ben, look at me. Rosie chose you because you make her feel safe. Give her that same strength now.”
“My promise,” he whispered.
Before I could ask what he meant, he turned toward me.
Something unfamiliar filled his eyes.
“I need to talk to you,” he said. “Away from here.”
He guided me down the corridor to a small alcove near the stairs.
