PART 2
The ambulance doors slammed shut, cutting off my mother’s voice.
For one strange moment, everything became quieter, even as the siren began wailing overhead.
The paramedic leaned close and placed an oxygen mask over my nose and mouth.
“Stay with me, Emma,” she said. “My name is Alicia. You’re going to the hospital.”
I wanted to explain that my chest hurt and my left arm had gone numb.
I wanted to tell her I had not been pretending during all the earlier episodes either—the dizziness, the racing heartbeat, the pressure after climbing stairs.
Every time I mentioned them, my mother called it anxiety.
Uncle Ray laughed and asked whether I had searched my symptoms online again.
But the mask clouded with each shallow breath, and the words never came.
Alicia asked questions I could barely answer.
My name.
My age.
Allergies.
Medication.
Whether I had taken anything or used drugs.
Whether I had a heart condition.
I weakly shook my head.
At St. Mark’s Medical Center, the emergency department surrounded me with bright white light and urgent movement.
Nurses attached electrodes to my chest. Someone cut open the collar of my shirt. Another person ordered blood tests, a scan, and a cardiac panel.
I heard phrases that sounded far too serious to belong to me.
“Possible pulmonary embolism.”
“Could be myocarditis.”
“Pressure is dropping.”
A doctor appeared beside my right shoulder.
Dr. Helen Morris had silver hair secured in a bun and sharp eyes that seemed to notice everything.
“Emma,” she said firmly, “we’re going to take care of you. I need you to keep breathing with the oxygen. Do you understand?”
I blinked.
When my mother arrived, staff initially refused to let her enter the treatment area.
I heard her arguing outside.
“I’m her mother!”
A nurse answered, “Then you need to let the team work.”
It was the first time I had heard anyone speak to my mother as though she might not automatically be right.
The next several hours blurred together.
Pain.
Needles.
Machines.
The freezing surface of the scanner.
Ceiling panels sliding above me.
Eventually, Dr. Morris stood at the end of my bed with my mother, Daniel, and Caleb, who had finally been allowed inside.
“She has blood clots in both lungs,” the doctor said. “A pulmonary embolism. She is lucky she arrived when she did.”
My mother covered her mouth.
Daniel looked directly at her.
“You told her she was faking.”
“I didn’t know,” Mom whispered.
Caleb wiped his eyes with his sleeve.
“She told you something was wrong for months.”
No one responded.
I was too weak to speak, but I saw everything.
My mother’s guilt.
My uncle’s absence.
Daniel’s anger.
Caleb gripping the bed rail with trembling hands, as though releasing it might make me vanish.
Dr. Morris continued.
“Emma will need treatment, monitoring, and follow-up testing. This was not drama. This was life-threatening.”
Mom looked at me.
For once, she had no criticism or explanation prepared.
And for the first time in years, I turned away before she could decide what my suffering meant.
